Blog
Vol. 003: Mental Health
🤠 Howdy/Hiya/Ciao:
Welcome back to all 1,010 (!) of you who have joined the BCK movement. This is the third edition of our monthly blog and newsletter. Our intention is to inspire leaders around the world. As our ripple effect grows, please consider forwarding this to a leader whom you admire. To recap where we've been:In March, we got the first pancake off the griddle (i.e. I'm authoring my first leadership book set for release in 2025)In April, we focused on National Stress Awareness Month through the lens of NCAA student-athletesIn May, we will now shift our gaze to Mental Health Awareness Month; a topic near & dear to me, personally
Before you stop reading because you're thinking, "Boo... I'm tired of heavy topics." then I implore you to, instead, ponder, "How would my impact be felt differently if I fully stepped in to the type of leader I wish I had?" Oftentimes, our mental health struggles prevent us from leading in the manner in which we want to lead. We can grow weary. This can seep into other areas of our life, as well, and before we know it, we begin to doubt ourselves. We may even begin to develop trust issues with others, or worse, with ourselves.In the summer of 2021, my mental health took a severe turn as I struggled to find secure footing in a fully remote, senior leadership role. I spiraled. My thinking included: “I f*cked up my career. How did I even get here? There’s no way out!"In reality, there was a way out—I resigned from a job that was no longer serving me. It was that decisive redirection which led me to where I am today.My lesson: Despite trying and bargaining over-and-over with myself… when it still cost me my mental health, it was NOT worth it.
As you read on, consider how you address your mental health. Do you manage it privately? If so, how exactly? Do you have a trained coach or licensed therapist to open up to? What burden are you carrying? Let's lighten your load...In the sections that follow you will discover three things:💭 a quote that moved us📰 a feature story on shifting from self-doubt to self-belief☎️ a call to action for more random acts of kindness
Thanks for reading. Now, let’s get to it! -MM💭 Quote of the Month
On Mental Health"Mental health isn't just an athlete thing. What you do for a living doesn't have to define who you are. This is an everyone thing. No matter what our circumstances, we're all carrying around things that hurt — and they can hurt us if we keep them buried inside."
―Kevin Love, NBA Player
📰 Featured Story
On Shifting from Self-Doubt to Self-BeliefSpoiler alert: Confidence comes and goes.
That’s right, it’s fleeting. Confidence is not a fixed trait, but can be developed through our choices and actions. Neural plasticity research indicates that we can rewire our brains to increase self-confidence through consistent effort and the courage to take risks.
As a leader, you may be tasked with managing new talent or take on more risk within your role. At times, a lack of familiarity may cause you to doubt yourself. Yet, what many “gurus” or influencers will try and tell you is to stay stoic, or worse, “fake it till you make it”.
It’s time we recognize that self-doubt is a natural emotion. It does not make us inferior. It signals that we are human.
Here’s the good news: You have choice! You can choose self-doubt, or shift to self-belief.
Last August, BCK was invited to deliver a keynote address at a UT Austin - Fall Staff Training event. Many of the student-employees who attended the event will be graduating this month.
As they each embark on their unique journey and set out to change the world (for the better), we felt compelled to re-share our message on the ability to choose self-belief in times of doubt, uncertainty, and even in our darkest moments of mental health struggles.
Our framework takes into consideration the symbolism of the North Star (Polaris) as a reference point for self-orientation, navigation, and understanding one's location on Earth. When in doubt, you can always look to this framework to find your way home to YOU.
⭐️ How to Create Your North Star
Decide who you want to be—not what you “should” do.
Define your why—revisit it often.
Dream big—but start by taking small actions.
Honor the struggle—it doesn't matter how you start, what matters is how you keep showing up.
Play the long game—success doesn’t happen overnight.
What do you think? Where is your North Star leading you today?
👇 Watch the video below.
☎️ Call to Action
On Random Acts of KindnessChoose one action you will take this month in an attempt to support somebody else’s mental health:
Call a friend or family member you haven't spoken to in a while just to check in on them and let them know you're thinking of them
Offer to help with household chores or errands for your partner, friend, or a neighbor who may be struggling with their mental health
Send an encouraging text message or inspiring quote to someone you know is going through a difficult time
Bake a treat or prepare a meal for a colleague who seems stressed or overwhelmed.
Write a handwritten note expressing your appreciation for how someone else makes you feel
Volunteer your time at a local organization that prioritizes mental health initiatives
Donate supplies or funds to a mental health charity or non-profit, such as The Jed Foundation
Smile, make eye contact, and say hello to a homeless person as you pass by, as this simple gesture can brighten their day
Offer to listen without judgment if a friend or family member wants to open up about what they're going through
About Us
BCK is a leadership development practice that was created by Milam [my-lum] Miller in July 2022Our mission is to build a better future of work with confident and kind leadersWe do this through speaking engagements, interactive team workshops, and personalized coaching--HERE ARE 3 WAYS BCK CAN HELP YOU AND YOUR COMPANY:Vol. 002: Stress Management
🤠 Howdy/Hiya/Ciao:
Welcome back to the second edition of BCK’s blog and newsletter!A lot has happened since my initial update. I am seeing synchronicities everywhere (i.e. the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible connection)For example:My son was born at 8:52pm. My late grandfather - who recently passed away just before my baby's arrival - had a special connection to #52, as he wore this number on his 1948 State Championship football team 🏈 (Texas, y'all!)Today, on April 2, my baby boy turns 2 weeks old 🥰
In honor of these special occurrences, our Feature Story will include a profile on TWO phenomenal student-athletes who each embody confident resiliency in the face of stressors at the highest levels 🏀 👀But before you read on, an acknowledgment that April marks the beginning of Stress Awareness Month. Stress is a universal experience that impacts us daily. How we respond to stress can greatly impact our physiological health. One thing that has been stressful for me recently has been learning how to juggle attentive care for my newborn baby, along with disciplined care for my "other baby"... my book. I had previously shared with this community that a pre-sale campaign would commence on March 18. That was bullish of me. Thanks to the generosity of my publisher, pre-sales for my upcoming book release - The Charisma Craft - will, instead, begin on July 29. I can't wait for leaders to get their hands on this manual for how to access, embody, and deploy a more magnetic leadership style.With all of this in mind, life is full of learning lessons...My lesson: When you feel stressed, name it. Ask for help. You control your awareness and responses. If stress were a car, then remember that you are driving it. It’s easy for our auto-pilot tendencies to allow stress to feel like cruise control mode—all we have to do is hit the brake and pull back.
As you read on, consider your own relationship to stress. How can you become more confident and kind in the ways in which you respond to your daily stressors?As a reminder, in the sections that follow you will discover three things:💭 a quote that moved us📰 a feature story on self-confidence & resilience☎️ a call to action for a random act of kindness
Thanks for reading. Now, let’s get to it! -MM💭 Quote of the Moment
On Stress Awareness“Stress is caused by being 'here' but wanting to be 'there'.”
―Eckhart Tolle
Longing lives in the past. Fear lives in the future.
👉 If you want to be less stressed, then be present.
📰 Featured Story
On Two March Madness Stars🐐 CAITLIN CLARK:
In the second grade, Caitlin Clark wrote down her dream of wanting to play in the WNBA. In a few weeks, that will become her reality, likely as the #1 overall pick by the Indiana Fever.
She has smashed record after record on her latest quest to clinch another Final Four berth. However, the road to this point has not always been easy.
Much has been written about Clark’s deep three-point shooting, electric passing, and fiery on-court personality. However, she has experienced some humbling setbacks as well:
As a high schooler, Clark clinched a spot on Team USA’s youth squad—winning a gold medal. Yet, as a rising Junior, she was left off the squad.
As a college recruit, her goal was to play for Coach Geno Auriemma at UConn. As coaches lined up in the gym to witness her brilliance, Geno never showed.
Now, Clark has a chance to take her Iowa squad back to the National Championship, having just beaten LSU in a rematch of last year’s game they lost. This time around, Clark put on a 41-point master class that left no doubt on the scoreboard of who would advance.
When asked how she handles all of the pressure and stress, she says, “To be honest, I don’t get nervous for games, because I just know, this is fun for me.”
Winning is fun, sure. But loss is a natural part of the process. A winner will lose, but they always have choice to keep going.
💡 The Lesson: Clark reminds us that true resilience comes from getting back up when you fall down, to keep believing in yourself, and to have fun along the way.
💅 JARED McCAIN:
For those who have never seen the name, Jared McCain is a Freshman basketball player for Duke.
Perhaps you watched him consistently drain threes or drop 32 points on NC State, who eventually eliminated the Blue Devils in the Elite Eight.
Or, perhaps, it’s more likely that you spotted McCain’s blue & white finger nails out on the court.
While McCain’s season is now over, his story is just beginning. At just 20 years old, he has received quite a bit of negative backlash for his personal choice to, simply, paint his finger nails.
When pressed on the matter, McCain has confidently responded:
“I like to get manicures… the hate is funny because it’s usually grown men. You’re a grown man hating on a kid.”
“I know a lot of people disagree, a lot of people don’t like it, but I’m just going to be myself and do what I think looks nice.”
It would be easy for McCain to conform to the social pressures of what most men do—not paint their finger nails. However, McCain’s authentic self-expression has paid off (literally).
McCain has amassed over two million followers on TikTok, which has helped him become one of the most sought-after NIL earners in all of college sports. His most recent deal? Nail polish company, Sally Hansen.
💡 The Lesson: McCain reminds us that external expectations and stressors do not define us. When we choose self-confidence over conformity, then we stand out from the pack. In short, keep doing you!
☎️ Call to Action
For Stress Awareness MonthACTION: Ask a colleague to go on a short walk. This can be pre-meeting (to ground), post-meeting (to recap), or even a mid-day break (to breathe in fresh air)
If you’re a fully remote employee, then request to have an audio-only, walking call for your 1:1 weekly check-in.
Anything internal not requiring a visual review can easily be turned into a ‘walk & talk’—you just have to ask!
RESULT: Why? A study from Cambridge University says that taking an 11-minute brisk walk every day, or walking 75 minutes per week, will lower your risk of stroke, heart disease and a number of cancers #worthit
About Us
BCK was founded by Milam [my-lum] Miller in July 2022He previously worked in professional football (read: soccer) and has been described by clients as “The Real Life Ted Lasso”He hustled from being an Executive Assistant to Senior Leader in the Sports & Entertainment industry, resulting in a #burnout case studyOn his healing journey, he's become a registered yoga teacher (RYT 200) and a trained Co-Active Institute (CTI) Coach; he integrates these skills, as well as other mindfulness tools, to help corporate leaders navigate workplace disconnection Milam has spoken at Amazon HQ, facilitates interactive workshops, and offers both 1:1 and group coaching programsHis heart is as big as his home state, yep, you guessed it—Texas!📍Milam currently resides in Toronto with his wife and newborn babyReach out to learn more about how we are building a more confident and kind future of work Vol. 001: Pilot
🤠 Howdy/Hiya/Ciao:
Welcome to the first edition of BCK’s blog and newsletter. If you are receiving this email, then we have crossed paths at some point. Thank you for the role you have played in supporting BCK’s efforts to build a more confident and kind future of work through our study of human connection and people skills.As we evolve through speaking, facilitating, and coaching, we believe it is necessary to stay in more regular contact with the incredible community behind our movement.Real talk: We all know that the first pancake sucks. It’s undercooked, or even worse, burnt. This newsletter won’t be perfect, but it will be real. We hope you find it to be an inspiring space to reflect, grow, and progress.
Who is this newsletter for?
Anyone who identifies as a leaderYou might be a leader in your workplace, your place of worship, your community, or even as the CEO of your own life
When will it be sent out?
Once a month; if that changes and you feel that we are starting to spam you, feel free to opt-out (we get it)If you peace out, we kindly ask you to forward our email to just one person who would benefit from our work (plz & ty)
What will we cover?
In the sections that follow, you will discover three things:💭 a quote that moved us📰 a story on self-confidence & resilience☎️ a call to action for a random act of kindness
Now, let’s get to it…
💭 Quote of the Moment
On Self-Forgiveness“I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes—it is inevitable.
But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'Well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.'
If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being.
You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self.”
―Maya Angelou
📰 Featured Story
From our FounderI’ve learned that every good story has a beginning, a middle, and an end. It’s elementary, but it’s true. I’ve been sitting on some news for awhile, and it’s time to share it.
BEGINNING:
In 2020, I picked up a copy of “OPEN” by Andre Agassi.
Admittedly, I wasn’t a huge fan of Agassi. I much preferred the squeaky clean image of his tennis rival, Pete Sampras. I made assumptions about Agassi over the years, many fed by the media and his “bad boy” image. As I read his book, I quickly realized I was wrong.
Andre had something else… something far more captivating, yet elusive. At first, it was difficult to pinpoint what exactly it was; and, then, it came to me—what Andre has is charisma.
I was so inspired by his radical candor and vulnerability that I vowed to someday write a book of my own.
MIDDLE:
In 2023, I decided it was time to try a new challenge for me and my business. I wanted to do something scary… something bold… something I’ve never attempted to complete before.
As I approached my 34th birthday, I made a decision: I’m going to write a damn book.
And for the past 6 months, that’s precisely what I’ve been doing.
I’ve been quiet about it. If I’m honest, it’s due to my fear of not completing it. It’s that same fear that tells me I’ll either get too distracted or other priorities will come up that push it to the back-burner. Any other easily distracted Enneagram 7’s out there?
I almost gave up. The daily struggle of hitting word count goals felt unbearable. But then I remembered my why—leaders need support. Full stop.
And I like to help people. I had no other option but to do what I tell all of my clients and close friends: Keep going.
Despite the self-doubt, the fear of it flopping, and all of my writer’s block—something happened. On February 19, I signed a contract with a publisher!
END:
The end of this story is far from over. In fact, it’s just the beginning.
Today, I’m proud to announce my first book:
“The Charisma Craft—How to Become a Magnetic Leader”
This book is for all leaders. It’s a book about redefining what charisma means in the age of artificial intelligence. It’s a book about how to craft an authentic and genuine style of charismatic leadership that is so desperately needed in an era of hybrid work and, more broadly, workplace disconnection.
In short, this book will teach you how to access, embody, and deploy your charisma. Sounds nice, right?
In the weeks ahead, I will be sharing more information about my writing process (the good, the bad, the ugly), the book itself, and what’s coming next. For now, mark your calendars:
UPDATE! PRE-SALES GO LIVE ON JULY 29, 2024
I can’t wait for you to read, and receive, all this book has to offer.
Be confident & kind.
—MM
☎️ Call to Action
For Connection
What is one kind gesture you can do this month for your boss, a coworker, or ‘that person’ in another department who gets on your nerves? Do it!
About Us
BCK was founded by Milam [my-lum] Miller in July 2022He previously worked in professional football (read: soccer) and has been described as “The Real Life Ted Lasso”He climbed the corporate ladder to become a Senior Leader turned #burnout case studyOn his healing journey, he has become a registered yoga teacher (RYT 200) and a trained Co-Active Institute (CTI) Coach He integrates these skills, as well as other mindfulness tools, to help corporate leaders experiencing workplace pressureMilam has spoken at Amazon HQ, facilitates corporate workshops, and offers both 1:1 and group coachingHis heart is as big as his home state, yep, you guessed it—Texas!📍Milam currently resides in Toronto with his wife and babyReach out to learn more about our work to positively improve the modern workplace